building rapport

Building Rapport

This stage involves building a trusting relationship with the coachee so that they feel comfortable speaking openly to the coach. It requires a lot of effort and time for a coachee to talk honestly to a coach but there are some key things that you as a coach can do to help gain a high level of trust:

Asking good questions

Coaching is all about asking questions rather than just talking. The reason for this is that you want the coachee to ask questions that will make them think for themselves. As a coach you need to adopt these approaches listed below:

• Ask open questions

  When coaching someone open questions should be used the majority of the time. Open questions encourage an individual to talk and not simple give a yes or no answer. Thus, it would be a good idea to start questions with What, Where, When, Why, Who, How?

• Ask questions but do not comment

  As coachees tell you things try not to comment on them with your own opinion or thoughts. As a coach you should try to ask further questions so that coachees go into more detail. For example, “Tell me more about...” or “Why did you do that?”

• Allow the coachee to talk about feelings and emotions

  It is essential that you try to find out every aspect of a coachee. As a coach you want to know the facts but also the feelings and emotions associated with those facts. Try to find out the following about a coachee:

• What do they like and dislike about their work?
• What projects have they enjoyed working on the most?
• What frustrates them the most about their work or the organisation?
• How do they feel when things go well and when they don not go well?
• What would they like to get out of their job in the future?
• How does their current job compare to other jobs they have had?

By asking these questions it will allow you to ascertain what is important to the coachee. However, it is important to remember not to ask all of these questions at once because you do not want the coachee to suspicious of you, you want them to feel that you have a genuine interest in their feelings.

Listening

As a coach you should spend one third of your time talking and two thirds listening in a coaching session. By listening most of the time it enables the coachee to open up and tell you more about themselves and their activities at work. It also demonstrates that you are interested in what the coachee wants to say.

It is also important to highlight that as a coach you need to not only pick up the facts but the feelings and emotions behind the facts. For example, some coachees may say one thing but their voice suggests something completely different. Therefore, it is up to you to discover their true feelings.

Active Listening

It is essential in coaching sessions to adopt active listening. This involves a number of things including:

• Taking Notes

  By taking notes in a coaching session it will not only demonstrate to the coachee that you are paying attention but it will also help you at a later date when you need to look up previous issues.

• Body Language

  Lean towards the coachee when you are talking to them, keep eye contact and occasionally nod. This will show that you are interested.

• Make appropriate noises

  Use words or phrases such as “yes” and “go on”. This shows that you are following the conversation and what is being discussed.

• Summarising and reflecting

  It may also be a good idea to summarise everything that has been discussed. This not only portrays that you have been listening but also helps you to make sure that you have understood everything.

Demonstrating Empathy

Using empathy is vital for encouraging a coachee to trust you so you need to adopt this approach. You can do this by trying to imagine what a certain situation might feel like for a coachee. If you do not use empathy then it can come across patronising which would discourage the coachee from telling you things again.

Respecting the choices of others

As a coach you must not tell a coachee what they should be doing because you can see the solution. It may also be the case that the coachee comes to a different solution than yourself but you should not tell them that it is the wrong solution because it most probably wont be it is just a difference of opinion and an illustration of how people think differently. Thus, as a coach you need to respect coachee's choices.

Disclosing

Another good method for building rapport is to share or disclose something about your own life to the coachee. By using disclosure you are admitting that you make mistakes just like every other person. Therefore, if you admit your problems the coachee will to. There are a number of different ways of disclosing such as:

• The learning anecdote – which is a story that illustrates that you made a mistake and the lesson you took from the mistake.
• The humorous anecdote – which is a mistake that you made in a funny story.
• The personal anecdote – which is a situation where you might talk about your personal fears and hopes. In doing so you will ultimately boost the coachee's confidence.

Leave a Reply.